Consumed

London.  Mid October, 1940.  Ruby laid on a cot in her family's air raid shelter.  A soft rumbling thunder rolled through the night and jolted her from her light slumber.  The flickering hue of the lantern bounced eerily off the walls and onto the face of her worried mother.  Cool dampness filled the air of the cramped quarters.  She shivered slightly but not from the cold.

The rumble grew steadily louder and with it, her fear.  Even at her young age, she understood what was coming.  The scene had replayed itself out night after night for weeks.  Soon the sound of plane engines would be overhead and she would huddle and pray that their home would not be tonight's target.  Neighbors had already sustained direct hits.  But a destroyed home was not her greatest fear.  A few blocks away, an entire family had been killed when a bomb hit their garden shelter.

She rose quietly and padded softly to her father's arms.  He smoothed her curls and kissed her forehead.  He reached out to her mother and pulled her into his arms.  The three of them embraced.

"Do not be afraid, my loves.  I am with you."
"But the planes, father, the planes are coming," Ruby said.
"I hear them.  But I have built a sturdy shelter to keep you safe."
"What if the soldiers come?" Ruby replied.
"I am ready to fight for you."
"Father, I am frightened!"
"I know.  But trust me child, I will not leave you.  You are safe in my arms."

Do you ever feel like Ruby?  I know this is exactly how I have felt over the past few days.  Completely consumed by the circumstances that are surrounding me.  Fear of what's to come.  Anxiety of what I'll face.  Trembling at things that are completely outside my control.

My self esteem has taken a hit.  Old hurts have been brought to the surface.  My confidence is shaken and I can't see the next step.  Fear threatens to take over as I hear the rumbling of distant thunder. If it does, my thoughts won't be my own.

What will I do?  Am I safe where I am?  Am I ready to face what is to come?  I know I can't stop it.  It's like I am Ruby, sitting in that shelter and although I have been told I am secure, there is a little bit of doubt.  The bombs are beginning to drop far off in the distance.  As the explosions grow louder and closer, my anxiety begins to rise.  Every bit of my being wants to flee.  It takes every ounce of strength and every bit of will to remain where I am and to trust that I am far safer here than trying to outrun the bombardment.

Today, I was blessed to hear the voice of God.  I did not recognize it at first.  It was a phrase that played over and over in my head.  "It's done.  It's done.  It's done."  It took a good long while for me to realize what was happening.  Then I thought, "Wait, Lord?  Is that you?"  And there it was.  The picture of Jesus on the Cross.  "It is finished."  Comprehension dawned.  "It's done."

See God already built the shelter for me.  I walked into it the day I accepted Jesus as my Savior.  I am His.  "Sin has lost its power.  Death has lost its sting!"  Nothing can separate me from God. My Pastor put it to us this way tonight:  When God is not present there is chaos, but when He shows up, EVERYTHING must submit.  It's like God is the eye of the storm.  So even when we feel like we are in the midst of life's hurricane we can find the ultimate peace in His arms.  In other words...

"Do not be afraid, my loves.  I am with you," says the Lord.
"But father, the storms are coming."
"I hear them.  But I have built a sturdy shelter to keep you safe."
"What if evil comes?"
"I am ready to fight for you."
"Father, I am frightened!"
"I know.  But trust Me child, I will not leave you.  You are safe in My arms."

I believe that Ruby could rest in the knowledge that her father was there.  Tonight, I will rest in knowledge that my heavenly Father will stay right by my side.  

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38 - 39

Knowing Jesus

This weekend I went to Tampa to attend the Women of Faith conference.  It was a weekend filled with worship and Biblical wisdom.  I learned so much about myself.

We also had some frustrating and even slightly scary moments.  It's funny how the enemy will try to make you angry and he often succeeds.  But then God imparts just a tiny nugget of truth in you and all your frustration disappears.  I love that about God.  Satan works hard to spew lies into our lives and a little bit of truth makes it all go away.  Why?  Because my God is bigger!  He's stronger!  He's mightier!  And His voice grows louder in me everyday.  Praise God for that.

During devotion time I was trying to explain things I learned to the kids.  One of the things I was trying to explain was KNOWING Jesus.  This is how I explained it.  I hope this little analogy helps you too.

This summer we traveled to Illinois and met my niece's new husband Devon.  Jeff and AJ were not there so they don't know him at all. This is what it's like for the person who doesn't know Jesus at all.

Autumn, Alex and I met Devon and spent a little time with him over that week.  So we know him.  We know what he looks like.  But if I saw him in Publix here in Apopka, I probably would not recognize him unless he was with my niece.  First, it's out of context.  I might expect to see him in Illinois but not in Florida.  Also, I haven't seen him in a few months so I might not know his face immediately.  I would need confirmation from someone else to ensure that this was in fact Devon.  I liken this to those who go to church on Sunday.  Jesus is known in the church building or in the context of a Sunday sermon.  Outside of that though, the person may need confirmation.

Now if I saw my friend Jenni Pavon walking in Publix, it would only take a moment to realize that it was her.  While she lives in North Carolina now, I would still recognize her face and her voice almost immediately.  I have spent time with her and can, even now, hear her voice in my head.  This is the involved Christian.  The one who spends quite a bit of time at church and in fellowship with others.  This is the person who knows the lingo and recognizes what is expected because they've been "in the church" for a long period of time.

But if my husband was in Publix, or in a crowd of 10,000 people, I could pick him out almost immediately.  I know the way he looks, the way he stands, the way he moves, the way he speaks.  I even know the way he coughs and sneezes.  It is the same with my children.  I've known these people intimately for years.  I've spent almost everyday with them.  I've spent countless hours in conversations, I've spent time getting to know their likes and dislikes.

This is the relationship I strive to have with Jesus.  I want to know Him in a crowd of 10,000.  I want to know the way He looks, stands, moves and speaks. I want to know Him so intimately that when He calls my name, I immediately respond with, "Yes, Lord?"  The only way to do that is to spend countless hours speaking to Him.  Getting to know His likes and dislikes and learning about His history.  All of this is in the Word of God.  See when I was saved, I became His.  Now I want to recognize Him at any moment of my life.   To do that, I must spend time in prayer and in fellowship with Him.  To read and study His Word and apply it to my life.  To imitate His ways and show others His love.

"I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, just as my Father knows me and I know the Father.  So I sacrifice my life for the sheep.  I have other sheep too, that are not in this sheepfold.  I must bring them also.  They will listen to my voice, and there will be one flock with one shepherd."     John 10: 14 - 16 (NLT)

PS:  If you haven't already, click on the Quips and Quotes blog link on the side.  It will take you to some hilarious quotes said by my family and friends.  Most are from Autumn but I can't help that.  She just says what comes up and pays the price for it here.  LOL.