Crazy Days

You know that saying "Is the glass half full or half empty?" That's what I've been asking myself about my day. I was trying to see it half-full. I had a really good morning, and then a few things happened that felt like road blocks. Then it was good again. Then it kinda slumped a little. Ever have one of those? If you had to classify that kind of day, what would you say? Would you say it was a good day or a bad day? Or would you average it out and say it was just an OK day? I'm going to say it was a good day. Even though I want to complain, I'm going to focus on the positive aspects. Yep. It was a very good day.

The positive thing that happened had to do with my new venture. Next year, I am branching out and teaching science classes on my own. AND, for the first time I will charge for these services. It is a scary feeling. I put all my info on a website and passed it around to a few people I know. Then you wait and see how many people actually look at the website. Those sweet people passed it on and today my website has 195 hits. So let's subtract 25 from me checking it out and still my home page has had 170 hits. YAY!! Here is a link to it if you want to check it out. And if YOU know of anyone who has 5th - 12th grade home schooled students who need a science class, send them the link. I am in Apopka and would love to see that number go even higher. Even better, I'd love to start getting some sign ups.

http://web.me.com/jeffhaig/EPIC_Science/Welcome.html

OK so here is the random part of my day. On our way back from Alex's speech therapy class I saw another new business up on 436. It was for a self service dog wash. That struck me as funny. I mean why would I drive somewhere and pay someone else to let ME wash my own dog? No offense to anyone and if you've used it, let me know what the benefits are. I am really curious. Then two minutes later I saw a mobile groomer. Now THAT is a service I'd pay for.

Have a great week.

Pastavino's MMM MMM Good!

So we were supposed to meet my parents and brother tonight for dinner but my mom was ill and my dad was checking to see if my brother wanted to head to his place for the evening. So we took Autumn to her sleepover and decided to go out to eat at little place called Pastavinos.

I am no restaurant critic but let me tell you it was delicious. We had calamari to begin with and it was so tender it practically melted in your mouth. Usually calamari needs marinara but this time it had a great flavor that just a touch of marinara did the trick. It was fried to a beautiful golden brown and was crisp but not greasy.

For our main course, Jeff and Alex both ordered Stromboli and Paige and I split a steak and cheese white pizza. WOW was it delicious. What made it so good? The fresh bread. The crust was so tasty and crisp. The steak was not dried out and the sauce on the pizza... YUM- MEE! Again, not greasy at all. What a great meal.

On our way out, we were given a breakfast menu as they trying a new market and are promoting their new menu. The owner, Don, was at his computer in the lobby area (cleverly hidden behind a painting) and he was researching donuts and how much to charge for fresh, handmade donuts in this area. He also asked us whether we thought there should be a bakery up near Park Ave. or back toward Rock Springs. We got to talking about his other restaurant Nicky D's up closer to where we live. He asked for our names and even gave us a container of handmade cinnamon rolls to try tomorrow morning.

THAT my friends, is how you run a business. I was impressed with his friendly manner and his accessibility. Maybe they don't have the space for an office area in the back but having him up front is GENIUS. I was also impressed that he cares enough to find out how his customers like his food and their opinions on things like, where to put a bakery.

Finally, I was impressed by his entrepreneurial spirit. He had a bakery in Eustis and it didn't fly. So instead of packing it in, he opened a restaurant here in Apopka. Pastavinos has been in business since 1994. Pretty good in a time when chain restaurants are driving out the mom and pop establishments.

What a great experience we had tonight. I highly recommend you check them out if you haven't been. If you haven't been in a while, go back. I know we will be headed here more often. Thanks Don and staff for making our dinner a real pleasure!

Pastavinos. On the corner of Rock Springs Road and Kelly Park Road. Rock Springs is no longer under construction and it is now a nice four lane road! Hope you visit real soon!

Please don't diminish those who serve...

Today we had a sermon about the church being like the body. Many parts, all working together for the good of the whole. Some people are better with children, some with youth, some with adults, some with the elderly. Some are better at teaching, nurturing, leading, building, funding. And where one would go, another would never follow. So let that other go elsewhere. Go where they are needed. Go where they are called. God created each of us uniquely, with different skills, talents, temperaments, interests. I believe His hope is that we use those SOMEWHERE.

Haiti NEEDS our help. If you are called to help over there, then do so. If you are called to help in the local homeless shelter, then do so.

My opinion... Go where God leads you. Help there. If we would all just do THAT, what an amazing world this would be. Instead, we concern ourselves with what everyone else is doing. We question whether what we are doing is the RIGHT thing.

-Do I give that homeless guy the dollar in my console? He may buy liquor or drugs, not food.

-Do I give to that charity? What if they are misappropriating funds?

-If I send this stuff overseas, will it get to who needs it?

I don't think God is so concerned about that. I do not believe when I get to heaven and stand for my accounting, I will hear, "Well Fran, you did ok. You gave $124,389.26 away to people who needed you. However, unfortunately $1234 was given to homeless people who bought drugs so that doesn't count. $24000 was given to charities that squandered your money. Well sorry, you don't qualify for the $100,000 club so you only get a mediocre mansion. What? That money was given to XYZ charity? Oh well that charity is less than deserving in my book so off you go. Now your house is overlooking the golden streets. No upgraded view for you."

I am not a preacher, I am a teacher. I am not rich woman, I am able bodied and strong enough to work and serve. I am not comfortable with adults, I love children and youth. That is who I am. And so help me, if GOD calls me to Haiti, then it means I go to Haiti.

The only thing I hope I gain from serving is to stand before the Lord on my day and hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Dinner for a year....

Hello all. It has been awhile and this will be short and sweet. I am a college student again and I am finding it hard to concentrate. I always try to do ONE MORE THING before I start working on my classes. For example: updating my blog. LOL. Oh well. I promise I will keep it short.

This Haiti thing is really bugging me. I am just so sad to see what is happening over there. I hope I can go when they allow people to come in to rebuild. We will see though. On the upside though, our church really came through. We asked for items to make health kits for UMCOR, a Methodist organization that helps out when disaster strikes and in areas that need help year round. So they donated enough items (or gave cash to purchase extra items) that we made 204 health kits. YAY. Our Mission Possible Kids put them together last night with the help of our amazing youth. If you all are reading this.... WAY TO GO!!!

I saw this report today about a woman who made a year's worth of dinner menus for her family. Jeff and I are going to try to take this on. Maybe we'll be done with it by fall. So if you have any GREAT recipes, let me know. I'm not doing 365 different meals. But dinner can get boring so if you have ideas, let me know. I'd especially like regional recipes, you know from all over the country. Different ethnic food would be good too. We don't do really spicy though. Just FYI.

Hope you will respond. Gotta eat and get back to school work. AHHHH....

Lessons from the Past

In my internet travels, I happened upon a website that reminded me of a girl I knew in high school. When I was a sophomore, she was a freshman. She was on course to be one of the most popular girls in school. That summer she was hanging out with all the right people, going to all the right places, she tried out and made the JV cheerleading squad, she was beautiful and more than all else, she was the sweetest girl. It seemed everyone loved her.

Her name was Jennifer Iverson and 19 years ago this past October, she died after being hit by a car. Her death had a profound impact on my life. She spent a week in the hospital before her death. I remember that week being filled with rumors about her condition. No one, it seemed, had any real answers about how she was until we got word that she was gone. She was 13 years old. Her funeral was held at a large church in Windemere and it was packed. The number of lives that she had touched in her brief life was astounding. But today, I could find nothing about the accident except her obituary in the Orlando Sentinel archives. It wasn't a time of extreme media coverage and it was before the internet. Never the less, I was sad.

So I pulled out old pictures. I remember that I had one of her. I didn't find it. And I can't remember what she looked like anymore. As I was looking, I found pictures of my own children. My daughter is the same age Jenny was at her death. I felt a connection to Jenny's mom that I have never felt before. Every picture I get of Autumn from here on out is more than Jenny's mom has of her. Lord, let me understand the privilege that is mine as Autumn's mother. Let me never forget the reality that I am blessed.

I don't know what ever happened to Jenny's parents. I found her sister Krissy on Facebook. I wanted to send a friend request but I didn't. I know Krissy doesn't remember me. I never even went to Jenny's house. I met her parents for the first time after her death.

In my search, I found an article that Krissy contributed to in 1994. She said, " After my family and I lost my sister, I think it brought us closer to God. He allowed us to turn our mourning into joy. When you're here on Earth, we all have a lot of struggles and hard times, but they make us stronger. I look at it as a race; they only made it to the finish line before you did." A testament to their faith. I don't know where they are, but I am thinking about them and praying for them tonight. My reflection has made me appreciate my kids a little more today. Thank you God for Jenny, for her impact on my life and thank you for bringing her to mind today.

The "I am not a FAILURE" journal

It is time to blog again. It has been two months and I am not sure where the time has gone.

Alex has learned to play the guitar. As a matter of fact, he had his first performance last Sunday. He accompanied the children's choir at church on Sunday. We were so proud of him. It takes amazing courage to get up and do that for the first time. And he was nervous. I learned on Monday that our pianist found him kneeling at the altar before he performed. She knelt beside him and prayed with that precious child. What he was praying for, I may never know but he talked to God before he worshipped Him with his music.

I shared that with a friend and she told me I should write that down. She said moms need an "I'm not a failure" journal to write these things in. Then on the tough days, we should go back and read the good things. Isn't that the truth!

As a parent, we train, we teach, we correct, we scold, we praise, we punish. It's not a job where the rewards are instant and obvious. We go to bed each night and pray that SOMETHING we have said that day sank into "that thick head." We see eyes roll, hear clicking tongues, feel rejection, smell stinky attitudes and taste complete and utter defeat. If it was any other job, we probably would have quit by now.

But God is faithful and this is a job we have been called by Him to do. So every once in a while, we get to experience the little joys. And every once in a GREAT while, we see the fruits of our labor. We see the child doing what they've been trained to do. We see them following our teaching. We see that they have learned to correct themselves. We see that they scold themselves and we don't have to. We see that our praise has made them stronger and more confident. We see that our punishment has taught them to turn in a different direction. We see grateful eyes, hear loving tongues, feel love, smell sweet success, and taste the utter joy of being MOM or DAD. The rewards are not instant or obvious, but nothing worth doing is easy. And when we can write in our "I'm not a failure" journal, it has been a VERY good day. So maybe, with a lot of prayer and the faithfulness of the Lord, we will make it through this journey after all.

Elephants

Things are a little crazy as usual. Everything is coming together slowly for the new school year. AJ is a senior this year so we are busy making sure he is ready to finish out his career as a high school student. Autumn is in 8th grade this year. Just as one finishes high school, another shall begin. Alex is in 5th grade. Needless to say it is a year of lasts. Last year of high school, middle school and elementary school for my children. I didn't plan it that way but it is a neat transition. AND next year gets to be a year of firsts. But we're not there yet.

For this year I began a great Bible study with Autumn and AJ. We are going through Habitudes with the kids. If you haven't heard of them, look them up. It is a series of books on leadership by Tim Elmore. It is amazing in its simplicity and depth all at the same time. I am truly enjoying being on this journey with the kids this year.

Along with the Habitudes, I wanted to get some reading in with them this year. I chose a book called Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. It is a great read and I HIGHLY recommend it if you have or will have teenagers. It is all about rebelling against society's low expectations of the teen years. It is a challenge for teens, by teens, to not use these years as a vacation from responsibility. Very thought provoking. As a parent, I am learning that Jeff and I are guilty and we have fallen into the low expectation trap. We have let our kids get away with the minimum instead of expecting more. We are praying for the wisdom to change that.

But the blog title is Elephants and you have to be wondering why I chose that as a title. It has to do with the book we are reading. Elephants are still used in some countries to because of their immense strength and amazing intelligence. They even have days where they celebrate elephants and have a tug of war competition between one elephant and 100 men. The elephant wins every time. But to keep the elephant from running off, its handler ties him to a small post with just a piece of string tied to the right hind leg. That's it. So why doesn't the elephant just break free? Well when he was a baby elephant he was tied to a tree with a shackle fastened to the right hind leg. That shackle cut into his leg every time he tried to pull away. After a period of time, he stopped struggling and the handler replaced the tree and shackle with a post and string.

The writers, Alex and Brett, used that as an example of teens being hampered by the low expectations of society. They are immensely strong and extremely intelligent but they are shackled to the teen stereotype and don't even know it.

As a parent it made me think about the mother elephant watching her baby being taken to the same tree she was shackled to as a baby. I can imagine her calling to the baby, "Now don't struggle too much because that thing will cut into your leg. Just stay as still as possible. I made the mistake of struggling and I got hurt. Don't you do that. Just listen to me and I can save you the pain."

The baby elephant, who was probably listening to another baby elephant or thinking about the amazing dumbo hat he wanted from Abertrunkie and Spit, didn't hear what his mother said. When he was shackled to the tree, he pulled and pulled and pulled trying to free himself. And eventually the shackle cut into his leg and he learned that if he didn't pull, the pain didn't come.

So he went home to Mom elephant and complained about how the mean old handler hurt him. Mom shakes her head and trumpets how if he had just listened to her, he wouldn't have been in such pain. And for the life of the baby elephant, he can't remember Mom saying not to pull.

Now Dad elephant steps in to remind Mom that sometimes, Baby has to learn for himself. And then he stomps on Baby to make him tougher and Baby laughs and comes back for more. Mom elephant winces at the rough play and turns to go eat her hay frustrated that her mom never told her how hard it was to raise kids.

My point... we all have an important role to play in the lives of our baby elephants. Mom it's natural to try to keep our kids from repeating our mistakes, but they will either repeat yours or make their own. It's part of the process. If we protect them from everything, they will fail when it is time to launch. And it's natural for dads to play the tougher role. God designed us to nurture and love. I think He designed dads to make kids tough so they can face what's out there.

Play your role diligently and with love. Make it a great week!