The truth is that I am an anxiety sufferer.
The truth is that I am afraid most of the time.
The truth is that I am not alone.
The truth is that I serve a sovereign God.
The truth is that my God is bigger than my anxiety.
The truth is that my God can heal me.
The truth is that my God can choose not to.
The truth is that I will praise Him anyway.
This month my medication was changed and I was given samples. At my recheck I was supposed to pick up a script, but I haven't been in yet. I thought I had one more week covered with samples but I was wrong. So, I was in a bind because I needed the medication called into a pharmacy.
Problem one :
Now if you take medication on a regular basis, you know the drill. Call. Leave message. Wait. Normally the whole process takes about 48 hours. I was in panic mode because 48 hours without my meds is a bad thing. The side effects are minimal when you are on the meds but without them they are BAD. You can't go cold turkey. I can't begin to describe the feeling but imagine that skin crawling feeling you get when someone scratches their nails on the chalk board ALL THE TIME.
Problem two
I began having pain from a broken tooth in the back. The tooth must be extracted but the gum tissue around it has become infected. The oral surgeon would see me pronto. The problem isn't the tooth as much as it is my "dentaphobia." I am that ridiculous person who need valium to sit in the chair to get her teeth cleaned. I am a wimp. My other great fear is spiders. If I had to choose between the two, I would have to know which one would be over the soonest.
No anxiety meds., trip to the dentist. Not a great combination. I began to ask for prayers.
Problem Solved
It was the first time I had admitted, outside my closest friends and family, that I was one of "those people" who suffered from anxiety. I have had this stigma in my own mind for a really long time. But I needed prayer and I needed it right then. So I hit the send button.
The response was positive and powerful. First, the call came from the dr that they were calling in the script. I got that call almost an hour after the office closed for the day. Second, the words of prayer and encouragement lifted me up in a way that I can only describe as "the peace that surpasses all understanding." Third, not only was the oral surgeon painless, it was quick and I was out of the chair in no time. Even the xrays were easy. Plus while I was waiting, Z88 was on in the lobby. What did I hear from a guest on the Ellis and Tyler show? "God will never leave you, nor forsake you." The story had nothing to do with anxiety but the words were there just before I faced the dreaded chair. And finally, today the kind words have continued to pour in.
I am inspired to share more about my anxiety journey. I want to paint a picture showing what it is like to be a Christian, a mother and a wife suffering from anxiety. If you have it, I hope you will share with me what you are going through. I pray that you will let me know your needs so that I can pray for you. God is good. All the time!
Fran
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